THIS! Christine

seems to be the hardest word.

or, a funny thing happened to me on the way to my blog.

Both these are appropriate. I've visited my dashboard about 4 times in an attempt to post something to my blog this week and every time I was distracted by the lure of procrastination... 'ooh look, Doug has a new post--with links', that'll kill an hour. "Katie-poo, is on a tear again, and look. More links.' One night I actually had a solid idea for a blog, post about my transcendent experiences in Office Supply stores, except just thinking about it sent me off in a trance as I imagined the pen aisle, all the neat post it crap in a crayon box of colours, but the kicker was the virtual smell of the Sharpies... mmm Sharpies.

oops sorry, nearly lost me again.

So here I am blogging about my inability to blog and the question is, why? Why am I finding it so difficult? I mean, good grief, it's not like I don't enjoy talking about myself. It's my favourite freakin subject, and yet I come here and I feel restrained somehow. I realise this is all in my mind and yet, my early experiences with message boards have sort of indoctrinated me with a generic posting personality... Yeah, there's the odd fuck you (woo hoo, I'm a rebel), but nothing too controversial. Nothing confrontational, and heaven forfend I should actually take a stand and really voice my opinion.. (cause I have one or two you know, very strong ones LOL).

Then there's the whole, writer website = potential sale. I mean the reason I began blogging in the first place was to have a presence on the web, (cause, I was gonna sell any day now, you know), and so I had to be neat as a new pin. Likeable, interesting, but not offensive or controversial... and this is the restraint I feel. Could also be why I've lost a lot of interest in getting published. Cause I don't want to be a writer if I have to be this plastic person (ie, not be/act myself). But that's a wee bit off track and obviously there's much room for many more blogs on THIS subject...

But back to interesting posts and my fear of them. Sure I'll agree, or add a different perspective to a subject on somebody elses blog, but hey, they're the ones getting the hate mail if they piss someone off, not me. they're the ones that went out on the limb to discuss 'that' subject, not me.

And dammit, it should be about ME. Me me me me!

So we'll see if I can come out of my shell. Leave the tea party mentality behind and invite you all over for a cosy chat which includes wine, swearing, hard liquor, and the occassional 'my tits are bigger than yours' game.

X

After Posted: Why, why, WHY! do I always spell this with two s? occassional???