Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Friends In Low Places
I have a friend staying with us at the moment. He's been through a rough time this year, hospitalized down south since last November. We thought we might lose him on more than one occassion, but now he's back and same as ever and he's going to stay with us until he gets settled in his new place.
This friend of mine (lets call him Russ) is a gadget/shit freak. I'm sure the folks at the 'Home Shopping Network are on first name basis with him. As would be any late night infomercial switchboard (weird ass tangent-- do they still use switchboards?). Anyhoo, my friend. Some of the more interesting things he's enthused about over the years. His inflatable dinghy. An uproarously funny item especially when it began to deflate in the middle of the bay and he was paddling like mad to get to shore whilst the dinghy sandwiched him like so much bologna. Then there was the portable fan: that was mounted on some contraption around his neck, the tennis raquet fly zapper: that he actually played tennis with, A Hollandaise sauce stirrer, a BSR machine (not sure of this one but apparently it controlled all his appliances). An electrified beer can: a high tech variation on a dribble glass. Some poor (but theiving) unsuspecting schmo picks it up and receives a small zap. And no self respecting must-have-shit man would be without those speaker dancing freaky dolls.
A gadget man. And Russ has been stuck in hospital for a very long time... a lot of time to hunt for the ultimate gadget. And he found it. Last night with great pride and glee he presented us with 'The Fart Machine' (complete with boom box capabilities), and proceded to demonstrate it for several minutes. Giggling (yes giggling) like an eight year old as he filled the room with sounds of flatulance. His ultimate plan is to booby trap the turkey at Thanksgiving (but not mine I'm sure).
Men... do they ever grow up?
X
This friend of mine (lets call him Russ) is a gadget/shit freak. I'm sure the folks at the 'Home Shopping Network are on first name basis with him. As would be any late night infomercial switchboard (weird ass tangent-- do they still use switchboards?). Anyhoo, my friend. Some of the more interesting things he's enthused about over the years. His inflatable dinghy. An uproarously funny item especially when it began to deflate in the middle of the bay and he was paddling like mad to get to shore whilst the dinghy sandwiched him like so much bologna. Then there was the portable fan: that was mounted on some contraption around his neck, the tennis raquet fly zapper: that he actually played tennis with, A Hollandaise sauce stirrer, a BSR machine (not sure of this one but apparently it controlled all his appliances). An electrified beer can: a high tech variation on a dribble glass. Some poor (but theiving) unsuspecting schmo picks it up and receives a small zap. And no self respecting must-have-shit man would be without those speaker dancing freaky dolls.
A gadget man. And Russ has been stuck in hospital for a very long time... a lot of time to hunt for the ultimate gadget. And he found it. Last night with great pride and glee he presented us with 'The Fart Machine' (complete with boom box capabilities), and proceded to demonstrate it for several minutes. Giggling (yes giggling) like an eight year old as he filled the room with sounds of flatulance. His ultimate plan is to booby trap the turkey at Thanksgiving (but not mine I'm sure).
Men... do they ever grow up?
X
